Tuesday, June 19, 2012

rambling about crushes...

*a twitter convo inspired this bit of rambling*

i miss having a crush
they let me know that i am still alive
blood pumping through my veins
hormones get to flowing
and my creativity gets moving
i mean it is hard to write about relationships and love
if you have no muse
granted i could write an epic novel on depression
but who the hell would want to read that?

i want to write about the warm chill that
dances through your body when you
see that special someone
the imagery playing in your mind
when they are in it with you
the throb between your thighs
when they are really in it with you,

at least in your mind
where you know exactly what to say
exactly how to react
when the weather and your hair is always perfect
you look fly
and
most important
they always notice you.

my problem is i have too many rules
i can not crush on someone
who belongs to someone else

well...
except...
but that was entirely his fault...
married me shouldn't say such things...

but in general
to me
the thrill in the crush is
the potential
it could happen.

i don't share well
got the kindergarten report cards to prove it
so if i know that you are otherwise occupied
you can't be my crush
and lately that has killed many a potentially
exquisite fantasy.

my other rule
is to never act on the crush
never get up the nerve
cause nothing destroys a fantasy faster than
reality.

the sex is bad
they haven't grown up
or worse...
they have grown up and
they are still an asshole.

this is not to say
there isn't the possibility that
they are as wonderful in reality as
they are in your mind
and crushes can turn into love...

just hasn't happened to me yet...

but neither has winning the lottery
and that has happened to other people before...

just not me...


~turtleberry 6/19/12

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